Southpark Cast Reviews Top Gun Maverick – Courtesy of ChatGPT

  • February 28, 2023

Ever since Tom Cruise threatened to sue Southpark, it’s been no secret that Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and the producers of the show openly dislike him.  So, just for fun, we asked ChatGPT to write a funny review of the cast talking about the Top Gun Maverick film.  The result was pretty damn funny!

[Scene: The boys are sitting in Stan’s room, with Eric fiddling with a model airplane]

Stan: So, Eric, have you heard about the new Top Gun movie coming out?

Eric: [rolling his eyes] Yeah, I heard about it. Tom Cruise is going to reprise his role as Maverick.

Kenny: [mumbling incoherently]

Stan: [laughing] Kenny, we can’t understand a word you’re saying.

Kenny: [pulls off his hood] I said I hope they don’t make it as cheesy as the first one.

Eric: [smirking] Oh, don’t worry, Kenny. They will.

Stan: [laughs] Yeah, I can already see it. Tom Cruise, in his mid-50s, still trying to act like a hotshot fighter pilot.

Eric: [grinning] And I bet they’ll have some ridiculous scene where he flies through a narrow canyon at breakneck speed.

Kenny: [nodding] And then he’ll give a smug grin and say, “Talk to me, Goose.”

Stan: [laughing] And then his wingman will reply, “Uh, Maverick, I’m actually Goose’s son. He died in a tragic accident.”

Eric: [bursting into laughter] And then Tom Cruise will say, “Oh, my bad. Talk to me, Dead Goose Junior.”

Kenny: [laughing so hard he falls out of his chair]

Stan: [smiling] You know, it’s funny how they keep making sequels to old movies. I mean, what’s next? Rocky 87?

Eric: [smirking] Hey, don’t give Hollywood any ideas. Knowing them, they’d probably cast Tom Cruise as Rocky.

Kenny: [laughing hysterically]

Stan: [laughing along] Alright, alright, settle down guys. Let’s watch something else.

[The boys turn on the TV and start flipping through channels, still laughing at their Top Gun jokes.]

Chris Huntley

Chris Huntley is a marketing expert and film & TV critic. Father of three beautiful daughters, he lives in Scottsdale, AZ and contributes often to Culture.org.

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